


Jiang Cheng Is Offcially DONE

by Ochonnidae



Series: Jiang Cheng's Records [1]
Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi
Genre: Don't shout through toothpaste, Gen, Many hashtags because Jiang Cheng swears like a sailor and I don't, Mostly pure annoyed fluff, Wei Wuxian is a gremlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25283074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ochonnidae/pseuds/Ochonnidae
Summary: toothpaste and gremlins don't mix
Relationships: Jiang Cheng & Wei Wuxian
Series: Jiang Cheng's Records [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831714
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Jiang Cheng Is Offcially DONE

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This was based off a real life experience between me and my sibling, and all of a sudden they were just like "Imagine this with Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian!" So I did.

One is not at one’s most impressive when brushing one’s teeth. This fact is widely known and almost undisputed---unless you’re Wei Wuxian’s annoying-as-#### boyfriend who has no pores, pimples, or plaque. 

Jiang Cheng is thoroughly convinced that Lan Wangji is actually one of those sci-fi robots bent on world domination masquerading as a socially dysfunctional, wooden-faced rock of a man with no sense of humor. He has told Wei Wuxian as much, but the gremlin resents any slur cast upon his impeccable boyfriend and stopped texting him. Completely. For like, an entire ####### month. 

It was a new record.

Anyways.

It is very hard to look terrifying or enunciate while bellowing with one’s mouth full of toothpaste foam, as Jiang Cheng learned to his mortification and his evil brother’s boundless amusement.

At the very worst possible moment, when you are shouting VERY LOUDLY about some obscure #### that REALLY DOESN’T MATTER, you’re apt to breathe out just a tad too hard and send a collection of toothpaste bubbles floating lazily into the air, looking as though they were headed for vacation in the Bahamas, and absolutely refusing to pop.

It is also really not funny if you happen to be shorter than your brother (a fact he NEVER lets you forget) an cannot reach the aforementioned bubbles to remove all traces of your accidental lapse of dignity as soon as possible, and you KNOW how ridiculous a picture you must present right now, and the gremlin is NOT HELPING because he is incapacitated with mirth, hugging the bathroom sink like a lifeline while slowly descending to the floor, shrieking his lungs out with laughter.

The worst thing is that it’s actually funny.

All that can be done, really, is to beat an honorable retreat, ignoring Wei Wuxian’s unholy cackles, and slam the bathroom door. 

It really doesn’t help that Nie Huaisang (how did he even get in the door was locked) is standing in the hall, obnoxious fan over half is face as usual, looking sideways and pretending to be very busy with nothing in particular. He was totally not just eavesdropping on the whole fiasco. Totally. 

One of these days, Jiang Cheng is going to take that fan and ####### SMASH IT.

Jiang Cheng is officially done with humanity and it’s only 8 o’clock in the morning.

This is also a new record.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! Comments and kudos are appreciated, but not mandatory.


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